While I had listened to heavy metal music from a young age, I hadn’t fully explored its various subgenres in much depth yet. Luckily, my older brother shared a love for it and had an extensive music collection. He, being the tech-savvy one in our family, made use of various torrenting services (shoutout to Pirate Bay and Limewire) and downloaded thousands upon thousands of songs on his iTunes account (side note: I appreciate the accessibility of streaming and accessing music online, but NOTHING beats physical media). I spent many days scrolling through the vast array of bands he had on there; usually just clicking on a random track and seeing if it caught my ear. One name stood out to me: Children of Bodom.
I started listening to their 2000 record Follow the Reaper (a classic) first. Blown away by the undeniably brutal yet melodic sound, I was immediately impressed. From there, I worked backward and listened to the earlier albums in their discography (Hatebreeder also a favorite of mine). What I perhaps enjoyed the most about the band is the fact that you couldn’t classify them easily: they transcended typical genre boundaries and had their own unique style that made them undeniably…Bodom, all anchored by frontman Alexi Laiho’s iconic guitar playing.
Beyond their sound, however, Children of Bodom’s music became a source of solace during a time when I struggled with my mental health. When negative emotions consumed me, I lay down on my bed, plugged in headphones to my stereo, and put on an album. Soon, those feelings melted away. Their music didn’t judge or make me doubt myself like the people around me did. In fact, Children of Bodom gave me the confidence and empowerment I lacked, deepening my appreciation for their work.
As I entered high school, my love for them only grew. I talked about the band ALL THE TIME to my poor classmates and anyone who would listen, so much so that I annoyed the fuck out of everyone and further alienated myself from others. The wonderful world of the internet and Myspace (remember them?), however, allowed me to develop a network of friends and fellow fans that I could connect with, which led to me collaborating with someone on a Children of Bodom fansite (which is still somehow still up despite being inactive for almost 20 years).
During December 2006, I visited extended family in New York and while at the Carousel Mall (now Destiny USA), I walked into Hot Topic and browsed their shelves of CDs and DVDs (back when they used to stock them), and saw that they had a copy of Children of Bodom’s Chaos Ridden Years live album. Knowing my brother would love it, I bought it for him as a gift. He later let me borrow it and watch it. I had gone to concerts before with my family, but not a metal show. Experiencing them live on my television was one thing, but I wondered: would I ever get the chance to see them in person?
Fast forward to the summer of 2008. Flipping through the pages of City Life (a now-defunct alternative weekly magazine housed in Las Vegas), I skimmed the concert listings and saw it: “Children of Bodom slams into the House of Blues on September 20, 2008, with support from The Black Dahlia Murder (R.I.P Trevor Strnad) and Between the Buried and Me. Overjoyed, I ripped the page out and ran into my brother’s room and showed him: “Oh my fucking god, look at this!” Later on my birthday (August 31), he surprised me with a ticket to the show.
The night of the concert was soon upon us. My brother and I gathered at his friend Zach’s house to pregame. Nervous, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I knew this night was going to be one for the books: my first metal show. After hanging out for a bit, our group packed into my brother’s other friend Billy’s Jeep and made a stop at the Liquor Outlet on Warm Springs and Spencer for supplies, also swinging by a gas station to pick up more liquid courage. Arriving at the Mandalay Bay parking garage, the real party soon commenced. Opening up the brown plastic bags, we dug out the goods: some 40’s of Coors Light, Finlandia vodka (fitting for the occasion), Mountain Dew, and strawberry-flavored Fanta. They mixed me a “cocktail” (if you can call it that) and handed me a beer, and we all went to town. This mysterious Fanta concoction was one of the most vile things I’ve tasted in my life, but hey, when in Rome. Somehow, poor 17-year-old me finished a whole 40. Then, a pipe got passed around, with everyone taking a hit of weed. As we headed to the venue, my head buzzed and wooziness set in, but the excitement overrode anything else.
Between the Buried and Me were up first. I didn’t explore too much progressive-oriented metal at this point in my life, but I really dug them and the band sounded super solid. The Black Dahlia Murder came on after them. and along with Children of Bodom, were integral to me getting more into heavy music; I got HYPED up and decided to venture into the growing moshpit. Obviously, I had no clue what the fuck I was doing and fell down with my brother having to pull me back up, but I actually did it (in the years after, I braved many more)! Then, the fated moment: Children of Bodom hit the stage. Due to the crowd dispersing, my brother, his friends, and I worked our way to the front row. Incredulous and in complete awe the whole time, I thought: “Wow. THIS is what it’s all about.” That night opened my eyes to the utterly beautiful and cathartic energy of metal shows, and I remain incredibly grateful that I got to experience this.
In 2020, I was at my boyfriend’s house. A chronic insomnia sufferer, sleep evaded me, and I kept tossing and turning, so sometime in the middle of the night, I began scrolling through my phone (I KNOW) and saw the news: “Alexi Laiho, dead at 41.” One of my biggest creative inspirations…dead? I couldn’t believe it. Tears welling up in my eyes, I lied down in bed, staring at the ceiling, reflecting back on the amazing memories I built thanks to him and Children of Bodom’s music. I’m no stranger to death, and I never got the opportunity to meet him, but Alexi passing away was like losing a dear friend. His work got me through so much. Even now, it still seems so unreal.
A true innovator and remarkably skilled and talented musician, Alexi Laiho’s musical legacy continues to live on. I will forever hold a special place in my heart for him and the impact he left on me.
COBHC forever ♥️
Needled 24/7 is immaculate. :)
May I ask what model Nikon that is?